This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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