so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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