I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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