We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I will be naked everywhere
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
