have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
