Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
