it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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