White coat. Heels.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize