Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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