Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize