Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
