After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
