woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
