ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
