cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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