Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
