It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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