Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
