OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My bed smells like the plague
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
