why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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