Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
