Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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