Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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