I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I take back everything I said about communal showers
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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