I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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