I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
