is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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