Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
