He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I have aggressive nipples.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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