worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You've changed since you got that strap on
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
