Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
