I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
