it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
