If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
