You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My balls are so social today.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
