so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
