Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
