I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
