I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
