no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
