At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
