I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
