Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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