apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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