We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
