I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
