He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
