Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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