then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This house was built for laser tag.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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