Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
