wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
