I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
