i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
