you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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