So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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