Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
