i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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