still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
