Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
