Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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