I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize