This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
