I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
