he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
