I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
