Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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