No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
