There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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