id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
